Jokes
2 posters
Page 1 of 1
Jokes
allaboutourdogs Mon Aug 30, 2010 7:58 pm
I thought of posting this jokes about miniature schnauzer I encountered just a while ago. I hope you enjoy them.
Humorous Ownership Rules of the Miniature Schnauzer
Miniature Schnauzer Rules of Ownership
• If I like it, it's mine.
• If it's in my mouth, it's mine.
• If I can take it from you, it's mine.
• If I want it later, it's mine.
• If I want it now, it's mine.
• If I chew it up into pieces, they're all mine.
• If you want it, it's mine.
• If I saw it first, it's mine.
• If I ever had it, it's mine.
• If it's broken, it's yours!
Credits to http://www.schnauzers-rule.com/dog-jokes.html for adding a smile in my face today. I miss my dogs, wish I can go home now...
Humorous Ownership Rules of the Miniature Schnauzer
Miniature Schnauzer Rules of Ownership
• If I like it, it's mine.
• If it's in my mouth, it's mine.
• If I can take it from you, it's mine.
• If I want it later, it's mine.
• If I want it now, it's mine.
• If I chew it up into pieces, they're all mine.
• If you want it, it's mine.
• If I saw it first, it's mine.
• If I ever had it, it's mine.
• If it's broken, it's yours!
Credits to http://www.schnauzers-rule.com/dog-jokes.html for adding a smile in my face today. I miss my dogs, wish I can go home now...
Last edited by allaboutourdogs on Mon Sep 06, 2010 8:21 pm; edited 1 time in total
allaboutourdogs
Here's more jokes
allaboutourdogs Mon Aug 30, 2010 8:01 pm
What do you get when you cross a Sheepdog with a rose?
....................A Collie - Flower!!!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You know you've waited too long to find a mate when:
You think 'stripping' is something you do to a Miniature Schnauzer dog
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The liquid on the INside of a fire hydrant is H2O
The liquid on the OUTside of a fire hydrant is K9P
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A guy walking his Chihuahua sees another man entering a bar with his Golden Labrador & overhears the bartender say........
"You can't bring that dog in here!"
The guy, without missing a beat, says... "This is my seeing-eye dog."
"Oh man," the bartender says, "I'm sorry. Here, the first drink's on me." The man takes his drink and goes to a table.
So the other guy figures ........I can do that.......... So he walks into the bar with his Chihuahua.
The bartender says... "Hey, you can't bring that dog in here!"
The second man replies... "This is my seeing-eye dog."
The bartender says, "No, I don't think so. They do not have Chihuahuas as seeing-eye dogs."
The man pauses for a half-second and replies ...........
"What?!?! They gave me a Chihuahua?!?"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A guy standing on the corner with a dog beside him, was approached by a stranger who walks up and asks .......... "Does your dog bite?"
"No" the man said,
So the stranger bends down to pet the dog and the dog bites him!
"I thought you said your dog don't bite???" .........the man answers
"That's not my dog!"
....................A Collie - Flower!!!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You know you've waited too long to find a mate when:
You think 'stripping' is something you do to a Miniature Schnauzer dog
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The liquid on the INside of a fire hydrant is H2O
The liquid on the OUTside of a fire hydrant is K9P
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A guy walking his Chihuahua sees another man entering a bar with his Golden Labrador & overhears the bartender say........
"You can't bring that dog in here!"
The guy, without missing a beat, says... "This is my seeing-eye dog."
"Oh man," the bartender says, "I'm sorry. Here, the first drink's on me." The man takes his drink and goes to a table.
So the other guy figures ........I can do that.......... So he walks into the bar with his Chihuahua.
The bartender says... "Hey, you can't bring that dog in here!"
The second man replies... "This is my seeing-eye dog."
The bartender says, "No, I don't think so. They do not have Chihuahuas as seeing-eye dogs."
The man pauses for a half-second and replies ...........
"What?!?! They gave me a Chihuahua?!?"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A guy standing on the corner with a dog beside him, was approached by a stranger who walks up and asks .......... "Does your dog bite?"
"No" the man said,
So the stranger bends down to pet the dog and the dog bites him!
"I thought you said your dog don't bite???" .........the man answers
"That's not my dog!"
Last edited by allaboutourdogs on Mon Sep 06, 2010 8:27 pm; edited 1 time in total
allaboutourdogs
Re: Jokes
allaboutourdogs Mon Aug 30, 2010 8:05 pm
During break time at dog obedience school, one said to the other...
"The thing I hate about obedience school is you learn ALL this stuff you will NEVER use in the real world."
You know you've waited too long to find a mate when:
You think stripping is something you do to a Schnauzer
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Okay now don't try this at home but................
But to really prove that a Dog is Man's Best Friend... a husband took his wife & his dog and locked them both in the trunk of his car for 30 minutes.
When he opened the trunk - Guess who was still happy to see him?
Well - it wasn't the wife! LOL!
"The thing I hate about obedience school is you learn ALL this stuff you will NEVER use in the real world."
You know you've waited too long to find a mate when:
You think stripping is something you do to a Schnauzer
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Okay now don't try this at home but................
But to really prove that a Dog is Man's Best Friend... a husband took his wife & his dog and locked them both in the trunk of his car for 30 minutes.
When he opened the trunk - Guess who was still happy to see him?
Well - it wasn't the wife! LOL!
allaboutourdogs
Re: Jokes
allaboutourdogs Mon Aug 30, 2010 8:06 pm
This is the best joke I read today!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This has to be one of the best 'singles ads' ever
printed in the Atlanta Journal.
SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I'm a very good girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me.
Call (404) 875-6420 and ask for DAISY. I'll be waiting.
Over 15,000 men found themselves talking to the
Atlanta Humane Society...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This has to be one of the best 'singles ads' ever
printed in the Atlanta Journal.
SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I'm a very good girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me.
Call (404) 875-6420 and ask for DAISY. I'll be waiting.
Over 15,000 men found themselves talking to the
Atlanta Humane Society...
allaboutourdogs
Re: Jokes
blacknwhite Sun Sep 05, 2010 2:48 pm
very good, i've some of those before but some i hdnt made me really laugh! 
blacknwhite
Re: Jokes
allaboutourdogs Mon Sep 06, 2010 8:39 pm
blacknwhite wrote:
Thanks buddy!
allaboutourdogs
Page 1 of 1
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum|
|
|